My Daughter, the Demon Child

Well, wait. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. Actually, Peanut is a great kid; she’s generally pretty happy, easy-going and has a great sense of humor. But when she gets on the changing table, it’s almost as if some crazy demon has taken over her body. I literally cannot change her diaper at all. In fact, I’m ashamed to admit that most times, I have to call in for backup and then my husband saunters in and does some kindof miracle hypnosis thing on my kid and changes her diaper in 5 seconds flat.

I can honestly say that the most frustrating part of parenting for me so far is the diaper changing. It’s been like this for months now, ever since Peanut learned how to roll over. It goes something like this: I put her down on the changing table and manage to get her dirty diaper off; right as I’m about to get the clean diaper on her, she rolls over and then stands up; I put her back on the table; she then tries to roll over to stand up but I hold her down; she cries and screams and acts as if I’m torturing her. Repeat. Usually this goes on so long that she ends up peeing on the changing table because she still doesn’t have a diaper on.

I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried handing her things to distract her but all she does is grab onto that thing and then roll over, stand up and throw the thing over the side of the changing table, which gives her a chuckle. I’ve tried singing, dancing, tickling, kissing, doing the “this little piggy” schtick, peekaboo…you  name it and I’ve tried it. Most times, it just ends up with me begging: “Please, Peanut, please. Mommy really needs you to lie down so I can get a diaper on you! I’ll give you anything you want! Some puffs? A new toy? A car? Anything!” It’s pathetic. This girl will not keep still – well, not for me, anyway. Sometimes I’m able to put a new diaper on her while she’s standing up but most times, she even manages to thwart that effort by either clamping her legs together or sitting down on her butt as soon as I try.

I need advice. Badly. Does anybody else feel my pain? Have any solutions? Suggestions? Because if I have to do this multiple times a day, every day until potty training is complete, I might just lose my mind. Help!

And because I feel bad that I basically complained about my daughter for a whole post, here’s a cute picture of her after she had just woken up with crazy bedhead hair…it makes me laugh when I look at it:

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3 thoughts on “My Daughter, the Demon Child

  1. First – that picture is hilarious! Second, we went through this too. I ended up strapping her down as tight as I could stand it, with the changing pad buckle. Until then, we thought it was dumb to even have that on there. But suddenly it was very helpful! She fought it and still screamed the whole time, but at least she would remain laying down and we would just go super fast to get it over with. Sometimes she would turn over even in the strap but at least she couldn’t stand. I thought it was awful at the time, but really, it should pass at some point and get better. Good luck!

  2. OMG she looks so much like both of you. I can see each of you in her cute face. Just think how much fun you have to look forward to when she starts walking!!! It just keeps getting better and better–actually it does. We never had to watch tv when our child was little…we just watched the funny things she constantly did. Quite entertaining. I would let her fun around naked for awhile without the diaper….it feels good!

  3. Snap! My baby does the exact same. Screams, yells, rolls, and even whacks me! It’s exhausting and today I was wondering if anyone else has this NIGHTMARE! And you had written this. Love! Made me smile….. Strapping down though? Gosh! Hardcore.

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