“No!”

This is Peanut’s favorite word. Well, other than “cheese”, I guess. (OMG, this kid LOVES cheese. She literally asks for it from the minute she wakes up to right before she goes to bed. I think she could eat cheese for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks if we let her.) Her answer to everything is almost always no and very emphatically at that. I don’t really know when this started and at first it was kind of cute because she wouldn’t just say “no” she would say, “noooooooo” and it sort of cracked us up.

Nowadays though it’s not as funny and truthfully I’m starting to feel as if my daughter doesn’t like me very much. When I go to kiss her, she says “no!” and then turns her face away from me. I want her to feel like I respect her space and her body so I’ll usually ask her if I can kiss her. This has now become our morning routine after I take her out of the crib:

“Can I kiss your cheek?” No.

“Can I kiss your forehead?” No.

“Can I kiss your elbow?” No.

“Can I kiss your belly?” [pause] Yeah. [I go to kiss her belly and then she squirms away] No!

Another thing she does now is when I ask her for a kiss, she’ll go kiss everybody/everything else in sight:

“Can I have a kiss?” [she turns to the cat] Mwah!

“ok, but can I have a kiss?” [she turns to her baby doll] Mwah!

“But what about Mommy? Can Mommy have a kiss?” [she goes to the closet door] Mwah!

I wish I were kidding about her choosing to kiss the closet door rather than me, but that actually happened. It’s not exactly good for my ego. Lately, when our nanny leaves she holds her arms out and says to Peanut, “Can I have a hug?” Then Peanut will go into her arms and hug her. The nanny then says, “Can I have a kiss?” and Peanut will give her a kiss on the cheek. Mwah! Of course, I pounce on this moment, thinking that my daughter is in a rare huggy and kissy mood, and I try the same thing only to (of course) get met with a loud, “No!” while she turns away from me.

This morning when the nanny came in, The Nut looked at me and said “Gooooooas she pointed to the door. Yes, my 19-month-old daughter commanded me to leave. Aren’t most toddlers supposed to cry when their mothers are leaving for work? Why doesn’t my kid like me?

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9 thoughts on ““No!”

  1. I feel your pain!!! Hang in there, it will pass….three of my four girls did the exact same thing (the fourth can’t talk yet, but I assume she’ll carry on the tradition). They’d kiss their dad, grandmas, babysitters, the dog, their toys, the piano, their utensils, the bathroom floor…and not me. I really think all girls at that age are temporarily little jerks (albeit cute little jerks). It must be a huge power trip for them to mess with the most important person in their lives – so take it as a compliment!

    • Lauren, do you think it’s a girl thing? Everybody I know that has boys tell me how snuggly and loving they are while my daughter often seems to want nothing to do with me. I can’t figure out if it’s just her personality or it’s a girl trait.

      • I really think it could be. I don’t have any sons, but all of my friends with boys (or boys & girls) say the same thing – that their boys are SO affectionate, whereas the girls seem to want so much independence and control at this age. It hurt my feelings – big time – with my first. But after having more girls, and hearing stories from other moms, I don’t take it personally any more. It will pass – my girls were all absolute sweethearts by the time they were two years old. The terrible twos were nonexistent! It gets better.

  2. When my son was that age it helped when other people asked him to give his mama a kiss (instead of me asking for a kiss). My husband would do it for me so I wouldn’t cry from constant rejection. He’s over it now, thankfully 🙂

  3. Nope, it’s not a girls thing. My almost 2 year old son went through the exact same phase a few months ago. We are still partially going through it, but it’s gotten much better. But Tiff, hang in there, the closer they are to the terrible 2, the more headache there is. And I have a very well behaved and kind child on the whole, but even he makes me feel like I am losing it sometimes. You are not alone!!! It will come and go. Hang in there!

  4. What’s worse is when the Nut repeatedly refuses to kiss her Mom, but then practically grabs me in a leg-hug and offers up a kiss to me. This, however, is balanced by my farewell as I left for work this morning. May I have a kiss? Nooooo! (And she ran away down the hallway)

  5. My Daughter, now 33, was a big cheese nut at that age! Wrapped American cheese, parmesan didn’t matter! It was cheese! Lol Now she can take or leave it! And she gives me a kiss on the cheek when she visits! There is hope!

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